Like millions of other Americans, I was shocked, saddened, and also angry when I first heard of Charlie Kirk’s assassination last week. His memorial service is happening as I write this, and I hope my words can do him some measure of justice.

Though I had certainly heard of Charlie Kirk and had listened to several clips of him before last week, since his death I’ve been watching and hearing so much more of him, and have grown to admire and respect him far more than I likely would have before, even though we hold to the same morals, beliefs, and values. Like with several others who have been taken away from us quite suddenly and without warning, as I learned more about him, I wish I had gotten to know him and his work much, much sooner than I did.

Charlie was highly influential in the last two presidential elections and on many university campuses across the nation, though I think his focus and intention was more to reach America’s mis-educated youth with the Gospel, wisdom, truth, and common-sense rather than mere politics. From what I’ve observed, Charlie consistently pointed others to God, Jesus, the Bible, and actual truth and wisdom — all of which far too many young Americans have little to no exposure to today.

What’s truly tragic in our over-educated “Information Age” is that so many people think they know so very much about so many subjects but in reality do not — they merely think they do. And Charlie was doing his best to correct that by taking the truth directly to the very people that didn’t want to hear it — unfiltered, undiluted, and unapologetically. He went, he saw, he listened, and he spoke truth into those areas. So many people (including myself) tend to hear what’s happening in the world, the news, and with today’s kids and think, “Why bother? America is lost and there’s no hope for our country or the next generation.”

But that’s not true — that’s exactly what our Enemy wants us to think and believe so that we give up and not even bother to try to speak out against the evil and darkness around us, much less get involved to change things. The truth is that there is ALWAYS hope, and one never knows how God will move in a nation or a generation. One never knows what may spark a spiritual awakening or a revival except God himself. Charlie understood that — and more importantly, he did something about it. Instead of giving up or playing it safe, Charlie put on his spiritual armor and engaged the Enemy on his turf: the universities and the college campuses that have torn more people away from the truth and God than any other institution in history. Since the 1950’s Western universities have been incubators for immorality, injustice, atheism, and even evil in the name of liberalism, tolerance, and education.

I grieve for Erika his widow and his two young children, who will only know of their father from their family, past recordings, and second-hand stories; they will never really know him on this side of Heaven. As they grow up, they will never have his direct, personal influence in their lives, and they will have to battle some deep, painful things. Over the last week like so many others, I find myself asking “Why, Lord?” and thinking that Charlie’s death is so very, very unfair, almost like, “God, this is really, really messed up! Charlie followed hard after You and tried to live his life according to Your standards, and this is how he and his family are rewarded? With an assassin’s bullet? With a shocking, public assassination? If this is how You treat your friends, then what’s the point?”

However, as I’ve been watching the world’s reaction to Charlie’s senseless killing — the theft of his life in an attempt to silence him — his voice has become louder and more widespread than he could have ever imagined. Really — in all honesty, I don’t think Charlie could have imagined the impact that his murder is having on our country. Within a week of his murder, 66,000 applications for more university chapters of Turning Point USA have been filed (there were only 900 before), and tens of millions of his clips and recordings have spread not only over American social media, but the entire world. Whereas before only those involved in American politics and such had heard of Charlie, now the entire world not only knows who he is, but what his message is. (And yes, I say “is” rather than “was” because Charlie and his legacy lives on, even if he’s no longer with us.)

A verse that has been running through my mind since all this happened with Charlie Kirk is from John 12:24, in which Jesus says to his disciples, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain.” While Jesus was metaphorically speaking of Himself when He said that, He was also speaking that of every believer who gives up their life for Him — each of us, a seed of life willing to die to bring forth much more of that life for our King.

Yesterday while I was thinking of Charlie and his legacy, this curious conversation ran through my mind — an imaginary conversation between him and God. I imagined them engaging in an Abraham-like bartering exchange in which Charlie sees so many lost people of his generation and he asks God how he can better reach them — what more can he do (even though he’s already done so much). So God says, “Charlie, what would you give to reach them?” Charlie thinks for a long moment and replies, “More time. More of my life.”

Then God says, “Let’s say that if I were to bring 1,000 people into My Kingdom in exchange for a year of your life, would you do it?” Almost without thinking, Charlie responds, “Of course, Lord — for 1,000 people — I would give up one year of my life.” Then God says, “Okay, so would you give 5 years of your life for 5,000, 10 years for 10,000, 20 years for 20,000, or even 50 years of your life for 50,000 people?” And Charlie, realizing what God is implying, is slower to respond this time, but then finally he says, “Yes, Lord. My life is Yours anyway. For 50,000 people, you can take the rest of my life.” Then God says, “What about for 5,000 for those 50 years instead of 50,000?” And Charlie again says, “Yes, Lord, even for 5,000,” but he wonders why God has now reduced that number.

So God keeps asking Charlie that same question, but reducing that number by a factor of 10 until the exchange is for only 50 people — one soul for each year of his life. And Charlie, seeing that 50 years of his life means that 50 people will go to Heaven instead of Hell for eternity again agrees. At this point, he knows he would miss out on a lifetime with his wife, his children, his grandchildren, and his friends. But those lost people — they won’t be lost for eternity any more. And then Charlie says, “Lord — I would do it for even just one — just one person not spending an eternity without You.”

Then God smiles and tells him, “Well done, Charlie. Because of your willingness and your faith, therefore millions upon millions of people — not mere thousands — will hear the Gospel and enter My Kingdom because of your sacrifice. In fact, tens of millions who would never, ever hear nor even be open to My message will hear it because of you and My message being told through you. Your impact in death will be far, far greater than even in life.”

Before last week, I never fully understood or fully knew what the “Grain of Wheat” verse was all about. It’s one thing to intellectually understand a passage or idea but quite another to understand and experience it firsthand and in real-time. As I see what’s happening in America and around the world since Charlie’s death, he truly is modelling that one grain of wheat that our Lord spoke of thousands of years ago.

“Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain.” 

Like many, many others this week, I have joined Turning Point USA and will be getting more involved in their events and their organization, and I’d like to encourage everyone who reads this to do the same. From the beginning, Charlie Kirk called his organization “Turning Point” because he wanted to see America and our people turn — not just politically — but culturally, relationally, and spiritually. And his death marks the turning point for our country in this generation that he worked so hard to reach.

The harvest from Charlie’s sacrifice is going to be far greater than he could have ever imagined.